
03-23-2008, 06:48 PM
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Relationship Newbie
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 2
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My husband's always been a procrastinator. I knew that from the start but still decided to marry him. When I first knew him, his unpaid bills were catching up on him. Sometimes his mobile phone stopped working and other times his electricity was caught off. He became unemployed at one stage before we were married, but did not claim his unemployment benefits. We therefore lived off my sole income for a few months. This was feasible at the time as we didn't have a kid then and were paying a cheap rent.
Since then, he has made some improvement and is regularly paying his monthly bills. But I still need to spoon feed him each time for him to show some action.
We've been married since two years now (Overall, we've been together for over five years) and we have a beautiful baby boy of 10 months. Our relationship started to sour a little since the birth of our baby boy. Not surprising considering how stressful having a baby can be to a couple. I was sleep deprived and was constantly upset at my husband for not helping me out enough. At the same time, I think I pushed him away a little which made him feel abandoned.
He lost his job again four months ago and has been staying home since. As I work from home, he now takes turn with me to look after the baby during the day.
The day he got fired from his job, he told me that he cannot afford to procrastinate anymore as he has a family to support. It sounded like it was a wake up call. I believed him. For the first month, he worked on applying for jobs, mainly to hand in as proof to the unemployment office. But since then, he stopped doing it altogether. His excuses: lack of motivation, bureaucracyphobia, focusing on getting a job rather than pleasing the unemployment office etc. As a result, we've been paying our monthly bills from our savings which were meant to be used on our son's education. I was very upset at this stage and confronted him in several occasions. He said that he will try his best for the following month. A month has gone by since and nothing has changed. If he's not babysitting, he spends the rest of the day surfing on the internet.
I am really fed up with his procrastinating, lazy attitude. If having a wife and a kid can't make him change, I really don't know what else. I don't think I can rely on him anymore. If I could, I would like to divorce him. But I'm hesitating because of our son. But then again, if we're not ignoring each other, we are constantly arguing. As we both have temper and can be pretty volatile, our arguments almost always end up in explosions. Our poor son has to suffer from them each time. If it continues like this, I think that for our son, a divorce would not necessarily be worst than having both parents living together.
Thanks in advance for your words of wisdom
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