A little over a year ago, I moved me, my two year old son, and five-week old daughter back into my parents home. I thought it would be hte wake up call Tom needed to get it together. At this point in time, he was using drugs almost everyday and would come home high, then when his buzz wore is off it was off the bar till closing. My life was home with the kids, and making sure their needs were met first. I guess, I dont understand how a man/father could choose that lifestyle over his family. What was wrong with us??? Why werent we important enough to make him stop?? I had threatened to leave many times, but I dont think he thought I would really do it. He was a mean drunk as well, I never knew what kind of person I was going to get when I he got home..he would go into rages. Recently in court he tested positive for cocaine and marijuana. I cant imagine, I am 22, a single mom with two small kids, and he is 27 years old but acts like he is 18!! THe thing is, I know that I made the right decision leaving because the night before I moved out, he came at me in a rage and my two-year old ran and hid behind me crying adn saying he was scared of daddy. BUt, all this doesnt make the pain go away. I feel worthless, and that we didnt mean anything to him. TO let his wife and kids go so easy, is hard to imagine. I still love him very much...and even after a year and am no where near the point of dating again. Also, he was pretty much a dead beat until he got this girlfriend and now is pretending to be the worlds best dad. And I guess I am a little jealous because they are pretending to be a family...and here I am all alone. Does anyone have any suggestions for me...or just tell me if I am going crazy or is this normal?? I love him very much, but in the same breath hate him as well....HELP!!!