Well, it is necessary that all the custody decisions must be finalized by the court. But the parents are free to agree on certain terms of custody through mediation, negotiation, and other processes. Also in many states it is required that the parties in custody cases should go through mediation before going ahead in the court. In many states there are several factors that must be taken into account while making a custody decision in the best interests of the child. Since, these factors usually include the child’s wishes. But these wishes may also depend on the age and maturity of the child. Since, most statutes allow a child who is at least 12 or 14 years to have some contribution into the decision. And the child’s wishes are one of the most important factors to be considered.

So jamie, hope you are clear on this now.

Im glad that the children do have a say in the matter and they can also decide whom they want to spend their time with..

They are poor innocent souls who love to be loved and cared and for no fault of theirs are subjected to this.. But anyways, if they are happy with any one parent, so be it .