I'm on the "inching toward but not quite ready" for a divorce fence, so I don't have much from personal experience, yet.

I would like to add some advice from a friend who was divorced last year......don't speak ill of you ex in front of your child. Her ex frequently misses child support payments and moved out of state to try to find a job (for a trade that is in demand in this state). When her son is upset that his dad is not at his sporting events/etc, she is very supportive, saying "Oh, he wishes he could be here, he just couldn't get a job here." I think I would be tempted to say "You're right, he should be here, but he's a moron !" How she bites her tongue, I'll never know

Wow i really admire your friend for being so strong in that area, it's truely admorable. One of the main things that i have found myself, and speaking with children who have come from broken familys is a smashed identity.

Before you get divorced.. have you tried taking the Anthony Robbins Relationship course? It is truely amazing! You can purchase the DVD pack. I assure you if you watch it you will be gobsmacked at the turn around that people in the Tony Robbins seminar have in just 1 hour!


Kids get their identity from their parents until they are in their mid to late teens and somtimes even later. So when one parent slanders another it destroy's their identity, and when both parents slander each other they have no where to turn to quench the pain apart from another strong role model such as a friend that may have a bad influence (good if your lucky).

I can emphasise how important it is to swallow your pride act like adults when your dealing with child and divorce issues. i know it gets pretty complicated with child support and custody battles etc. I guess act out of love and think ahead e.g. have a plan with your ex as to how you will deal with future problems for the kids sake..

When a child has both parents slandering one and other (no matter how subtle or true you may think it is) they will get to the point as i did where you think "if you really loved me then you wouldnt be using me as a tool to inflict pain on your x". Im a firm believer in karma, or sewing and reaping however you want to say it, its the same thing.. so if you sew discord and mistrust.. you will surely reap what you sew, your words WILL come back to bite you.

What do you think about these complex and sensitive situations when it comes to the effects of divorce on child ren ?