My 11th anniversary is this month. I have four kids, ranging from 11 to 14 months. I love them with all my heart, and they practically worship me. My wife loves me very much, I know it. I have a great family.

But I'm not in love with my wife. Truthfully, I don't think I ever was. I got her pregnant when I was 19 -- she was 18. I married her because I thought it was the right thing to do. I love her very much. I care for her very much, and I don't want to see her get hurt. I don't want to split our family. The last thing I ever want to do in my life is hurt my children. But I'm so miserable. I'm not physically attracted to her. I'm not as young as I used to be. Now, at 30, I don't get aroused by my jeans rubbing me the wrong way, so it's getting to the point where I actually start to go limp while inside her. I've told her the problem is with me, not her. I'm not sure she believes me. She knows something is off, not right, weird, whatever. She keeps asking me if there is something I'm not telling her. I say no, but there is. I want a divorce. I don't want to be married to her anymore.

But I think to myself, so what? I have kids. I have people who love me, depend on me. I have responsibilities. I feel like a shallow, selfish person for wanting to end the marriage when none of these people have done anything but love me. It will hurt everyone, a lot. Not to mention the financial problems that will arise. I won't fight for full custody or anything. I know she will be just fine with giving me visitation, letting them spend the weekend with me, or the summer. But the child support--which I would pay whether or not the court ordered it--will decimate me. I mean, what kind of life would I have afterward? What woman would date a divorced man with 4 kids to take care of, who doesn't want any more?

I feel like I'm trapped and there is no escape.