My partner and I have had a horrible past three years. Prior to that we had 8 great years. I started the ruination by having an on-again, off-again affair for 8 months. She retaliated with an on-again, off-again affair of her own (with our best friend) for 17 months. She doesn't trust me. I don't trust her. I love and want her. She "loves" me. We both want back what we had. We have moved in and out from our house several times and are currently living in it together. She maintains a "friendship" with the third person. I can't take it anymore. She says she can't give what she use to and would rather be friends with me, share a house, expenses, familiar activities and a "life" than say goodbye to me forever. Of course that's how she feels! It's like she has the best of both worlds although she says neither world is a happy one. I do not want her to have this friendship, I do not want to be just her friend, I am heartbroken, insecure, full of rage and mostly confused. She does not say anything to talk me into staying and I know I would be emotionally better off without her, but.......why can't I just say the words? Money, jobs, family, etc are not affected, and I still have my apartment (it's empty at the moment). We have both called it quits several times in the past 36 months. I REALLY and TRULY did so in April, only to be suckered back with in a month! WHY? How does one know when it is over?