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hi everyone, this actually could be a very long thread, as I have a history of 10 years with my husband. Our relationship has been getting worse year after year. We have a young child now and I found out I am pregnant about 4 months ago. At first I thought this would strengthen our marraige (the pregnancy was not planned, but very welcomed by me!!), but I now see that my husband is still the self centered man I always knew he was. I could go on for days with elaborate stories of his selfish acts towards me and our toddler, but I won't bore you with all the horrible details unless you'd like to hear some examples. I am nervous about the health of our unborn baby and the well being of our toddler. The doctor said the baby is growing perfectly and is healty, which I am so very thankful for.
What do I do? I am so unhappy, and he tells me I am a terrible wife. I work full time, take care of our daughter and our home. We could not afford the lifestyle we have without my career. He must think there are 2 of me, because somehow I manage to bring home the bacon and cook it, too. There is where the problem starts. He needs a maid and a prostitute, not a wife. He needs someone to cook, clean, be beautiful, have sex 3-4 times a week, take care of the home and children, and work to afford a lifestyle that is beyond our means. I have tried to hire help, but it never seems to be enough. He is gone constantly. He hardly spends any time with his child now. Maybe 10 minutes a day or so. And it's not that I don't want sex, it's just that he has hurt me so much (emotionally) that I don't even want to be with him in that sense anymore. It's an awful feeling for me as I am sure it is for him, too. He is very handsome and on the outside, we "look" like the perfect couple. He had threatened me with divorce so many times just so he'll get his way. When I try to explain my feelings, he says I am too sensitive and emotional. I can't help feeling this way. He says I need counceling. I've gone before. I've even tried to get him to go with me. He says no one will tell him how to act. He treats me like an employee and talks to me like I'm 5 years old. I run a major corporation and stand in front of hundreds giving presentations. How does this one man make me feel so worthless and useless? I feel like I annoy him so much. You must think it's the pregnancy talking here. Any thoughts? I am doing all that I do by myself anyway, so why would I need to stay married and endure more stress while I go through this pregnancy? I just want to keep the children healthy and happy. I am stressed and broken.... |
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I am so sorry you are going through this! It sounds like your husband isnt happy and is trying to give you every possible reason to end the marriage. He is probably is probably trying to make you feel inadequate because he knows he is the one being a terrible father. My guess is things arent going to change with him. Good luck
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Stressed and Broken. I thought I was reading my own story when I read your post. I am 6.5 months pregnant today. My story is exactly like yours with one exception. My husband was diagnosed with bipolar last December, which adds to the drama. I spent the night at my mother-in-law's last night. My own parents are not aware of the skeletons that I hold in the closet so my mother-in-law was the only place to turn. I don't know where I'll sleep tonight, because I felt guilty with the burden I placed on her and also for airing our dirtly laundry with her --but I can't keep silent anymore. I'm so worried that the added stress will affect my little one.
My only hope is in Jesus; but to have a person with skin on to hug would help tremendously. How can I still love my husband when he claims to hate me so much? It is a mystery to me still. Last edited by panooch20 : 11-05-2007 at 08:39 PM. |
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Im going throught the same thing. I have a 20 moth old boy and I'm due in 4 weeks. Both pregnancies have been hard. This time around there were problems with the baby gaining weight and size. I also have low amniotic fluid. I have been checked every week with ultrasounds, non stress tests, blood tests, arterial blood gas test and an x-ray. I have just had enough. He doesn't see how his actions are affecting me, my son and my unborn baby.
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There is a book on the topic, where the main focus is on one sided marriage counseling. The idea being, that for the first time in history a method has been developed to treat just one spouse to put things back on track again. I have a review of it in my link below. I recommend that you take a look.
Good luck. |
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