Hello azz, why don't you tell your stbx hubby what you told us in this thread perhaps he will understand you and you have to tell him that you want to spend some times with your son...

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Hii Azz...you Are Right In What You Said There Must Be Equal "sharing" Between You Two!!! As He Has Already Has A Party With Your Son Then You Must Also Have One It...

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Souls Without Names

The fires of Hell burn bright
In the middle of the night
Waiting for an angel to fall
No hope of salvation at all
A poor lost soul
Is swallowed up whole
Consumed in the flames
They are souls without names...

Hi, I would LOVE to be able to do just that. In fact, I did tell him just that and tried to reason with him when he argued. You have no idea how I wish things could be that easy and reasonable with him. But, the marriage was absolutely full of chaos and conflict and the divorce is no different. It's sad but I'm forced to either give in to his control and manipulations, letting him have his way more and more to try to avoid conflict (like I did in the marriage) or to stand up for myself and my kids and not let him walk all over us. So, issue after issue, we keep fighting out with the attorneys because he's unreasonable and I'm not going to simply roll over and let him have what he wants. I'd give anything to be able to communicate and resolve issues with a mature, rational, realistic adult who doesn't always put his own wants above EVERYTHING and EVERYONE else, even his own son.

This order is the temporary order. I will request that the wording be changed in the final order. This is rediculous!

How about not worrying about every single minute that each of you gets with your child and be decent about it?

You get your child a hell of alot more than your ex does...I don't give a crap what the custody agreements say. If your ex wants to see your child a little more, then you should bend a little and let it happen.

Otherwise all you are doing is using your child as way to thumb your nose at your ex.

If I had custody all the time and my wife only got a few weekends with our kids, and she wanted to spend a little more time with them...unless there was something going on at the time, I would gladly allow that to happen.

Kids need a good relationship with both parents.

This is what pisses me off...the father doesn't have custody...gladly pays child support...then the mother that has the kids all the time nitpicks about an hour here, an hour there. For your kids sake STOP IT!

Stop trying to strictly adhere to the wording of a custody settlement and be decent about it. If not and you want to only allow time strictly and down to the minute what he is entitled to, then I really feel sorry for your kids and that you have custody of them.

Well, Malicious Crumb... If you knew all the details of the people involved, the marriage and the divorce, then perhaps you could give an informed description of myself and the situation. As it is, you have a crumb of information and have used it to maliciously judge me. You know nothing of the verbal, emotional, and physical abuse that I've endured from stbx. You know nothing of his manipulative control and ongoing condemnation of those around him, including his own children. You know nothing of his history of prescription pill abuse, eratic and reckless behavior and putting our son in danger with such behavior. You know nothing of his constant lies, including those told in court. You know nothing of his constant disregard for healthy boundaries as well as court orders. You know nothing of his disrespect for myself and our children by picking our son up late and bringing him back whenever he has chosen to do so. You know nothing of his threats to permanently take our son away so that I'll never see him again. You know nothing of what he tells our son to try to guilt him, manipulate him, control him and turn him against me. You know nothing of him denying myself and his son our own personal possessions from the marital home so that I can care for my children in our new home. You know nothing of his constant late pays of child support, paid with bitter resentment, not gladly. You know nothing of his constant late pays of court ordered house payments (which he lives in) which is subsequently ruining my credit. You know nothing about how I've been forced by him to have definite boundaries and schedules just simply to have some stability in my and my childrens' lives.

You also know nothing of just how very decent, flexible, cooperative, reasonable, rational, giving, and respectful I HAVE BEEN only to have it abused, twisted, manipulated, lied about, and taken advantage of. I have put my childrens' best interest first in this whole mess. He, on the other hand has put his own interests first, even at the detriment of his son.

You know nothing of how, before I had the courage to finally leave the marriage, my husband's own grown daughter (my step daughter) came to me and cried about how her dad had treated her her whole life and told me that she didn't want her little brother to have to live that way.

I encourage a HEALTHY realationship between my son and his father. His father, however, does not foster healthy relationships and the best I can do to protect my son is to try to monitor and limit his exposure to the verbal and emotional abuse... the lies and manipulations... the control tactics... the yelling and constant crticisms to his very character. STBX had not gotten physically abusive with our son, but was becoming increasingly physically rough with him and the verbal and emotional crap is horrible.

The decisions I make now I do with a very heavy and sad heart. I also make them for my son's best interest, not my stbx husband's interest or detriment. I hate that the situation is the way it is and wish with my very core that it could be "ideal". However, I have to deal with the sad reality... not dreams. I lived in denial for too long already.

So, if you think that handing a young child over to such chaos, instability, and outright danger of his mental/emotional/physical wellbeing whenever the father wants him is in the child's best interest and that being with the one parent who does provide a healthy, loving home and is struggling to find the balance of protecting him while also supporting a relationship with his father is wrong... then you obviously have issues yourself.

Gender makes absolutely no difference here either. Each situation is different, with it's own unique struggles. Being a mother or father does not automatically equal good or bad. It's in the behavior of those involved on an individual basis.

We reached an agreement. My husband requested taking a day off work and keeping our son until 4:00. He'll then return him to my house. Sounds perfectly reasonable to me as opposed to him having son 8 hrs after work until 11:30-midnight, then returning a very sleepy toddler for me to put to bed.

Hmmm...well one would think that would have been a really important piece of information giving your situation...yet you said nothing about it.

Things that make you go hmmmmmm.



If all these things were true...I would think you wouldn't want your child around him at all.

With your post we are going from one extreme to the other....saying all these things...which I will not try to guess is true or not....to being cooperative with such a person that is supposedly so dangerous to your child.

but if in fact these things are true...it would have been an important piece of imformation to have.

So..since you have painted him to be the devil...question is now...why let your child in the hands of such a dangerous criminal type?

This is Just a message to say Hi To All the noobs like me. Haha
Anyway I gota get back to the toob Yall

Why would such details be such important information for you to have to answer a simple question on one very specific issue? The original post and question was to ask for input regarding interpretation of the wording of the order. All of the other history didn't mean a hill of beans to answer that question.

All information was presented to the court and a judge made his ruling... a ruling that I'm obligated to honor, regardless of my own opinions. Everything stated by me was and is true. And again, you know nothing of the dynamics and details involved.