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11-28-2006, 02:42 PM
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My husband and best friend of eight years was diagnossed with bipolar in 2003. He does not currently take medication or go to therapy. Starting in July of this year, he began to show signs of a manic episode. He of course did not see or understand what he was going through, and I tried to be supportive and get him help. He continued to decline and because the situation became so bad, I decided in early October to move out. He was using drugs, having an affair, and had quit his job. My decision to leave was based mostly on the safety of our children. He was becoming increasingly irrational and angery. Because I was instructed by an attorney that the only way I could put into place some boundaries for our young son and myself was to file for divorce, I did. I am now regretting this! I know that his illness is still present, and he has not yet been to see a doctor, but he seems to have already moved from the manic phase and into a depression. He has admitted his wrongs, and says he doesn't want a divorce. I don't know if there is anything I can do now to slow down the process. I still want the protection of boundaries until I can see that he has received the help he needs, but it seems silly to continue on with the divorce when it is not what either one of us really wants. Any suggestions would be helpful!
I should add that I am 6 months pregnant with our second child and due in March. Thanks, SarahA 
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11-29-2006, 03:32 AM
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hello sarah thanks for sharing your pain with us. He was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2003, but do you know when he really started to change and what is the cause? What kind of relationship did you have? Divorce may be the solution indeed for the safety of your children, but you both won't be happy for sure if you don't really wanna do it.
He should see a doctor
__________________
If you want something said, ask a man...if you want something done, ask a woman - Margaret Thatcher 
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12-01-2006, 06:41 PM
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I know he needs to see a doctor, but bipolar disorder makes you feel so good that you can't see that anything is wrong. Right after he was diagnossed he took medicine for a few months, but did not like the side effects. They were pretty difficult. Unfortunately he just gave up on medicine, thinking he could handle it on his own. He seemed pretty healthy until January of this year. Our relationship was very strong until then also. Because of our work schedules and being new parents, we started to grow apart, nothing drastic but little by little. I could feel him pulling away from me and changing. It started with little things like what types of clothes he would wear and the music he would listen too. He also started hanging out with some of his old friends, which I tried to talk him out of. I think he was destined to have some emotional problems in life. He has a family history of depression and anxiety as well as drug addictions. If he would only go to a doctor, I know he could be helped. He says that he knows he should go, but things like money and insurance are barriers right now for him. It is so hard to show " tough love", when you really do care what happens to them.
Thanks for the support! Sarah
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12-07-2006, 04:03 PM
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My stbx is bipolar as well as his father. He wouldn't listen to me either about him having problems. He did a complete flip in his personality. He told me that the girls didn't need any new toys and would only let me spend minamal amounts of money on groceries. He on the other hand was spending massive amounts and couldn't tell me where it was going and was drinking massive amounts of alchol. It culminated in him shooting me in the face with a bb gun. We left then and are now in the process of getting a divorce.
__________________
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12-08-2006, 03:31 AM
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Quote:
Actually, as you already know i guess ... he shouldn't have stopped the medications. People suffering from bipolar disorder must be on constant treatment. And there is also frequent evolution in the type of medication he should take. For the time being, if there is the problem of money, you should try to support him the more you can or someone else close to him and very strong should do it. I know how difficult it can be when you see people you love having weird and unanticipated reactions all the time. But be strong even if you feel like breaking down sometimes. Bear in mind that he needs strong people around him.
__________________
If you want something said, ask a man...if you want something done, ask a woman - Margaret Thatcher
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04-02-2007, 06:57 AM
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Instead of just leaving him like that, why don’t you convince him of seeking help? People suffering of manic depression have medication to follow and these wil help to control his behavior. Try to make him see a therapist or someone specialized, that’s better I think.
Last edited by darling_ : 04-04-2007 at 08:23 AM.
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04-03-2007, 07:41 AM
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Hello Sarah! I know that even though it’s your husband who is suffering from the disease it’s you who is suffering more than him. If you don’t want to divorce him then I think that you can still cancel the case. But he should not have stopped his treatment else the situation will get worst. You should have insisted him to continue with his treatment.
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04-03-2007, 12:03 PM
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That’s not right! He’s suffering too, there’s that disease which is eating him inside, force him to see a doctor. People suffering from manic depression need constant nurturing and love and support of people. You have to be here for him as you’ve agreed to when you took marriage vows. He will want to commit suicide and you’ll feel guilty, so better stick with him.
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04-10-2007, 08:00 AM
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hi sarah i think you must talk to him tell him if he is ready to reform himself then you would cancel the process of divorce think well before taking any decision do giev a thought about your pregnancy both the child needs the love from their fatherand they would love to see their parents together
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04-10-2007, 11:33 AM
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Hello Sarah, u r right in taking the decision of slowing down the divorce process and as such right now he may be in need of your support. you should persuade him to see a doctor and make him understand that his children will need him in future so he should treat himself 1st.
__________________
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