I am a 26 year old woman married to my junior high school sweetheart- he's 25. We've been together on and off (mostly on) for 12 years, and we have 4 kids, ages 10, 6, 4, and 2. We had our first child when we were both just 15- a hard situation, but we have loved each other fiercely since we were in 8th grade. I know that most people will say that you can't fall in love that young, but we did- we really did- and I know in my heart that he is the only one for me. The problem is, we had very different upbringings- my parents have been married for 27 years, they are still very much in love, they never drank or did drugs, and my family has always been very close. His family is a totally different story- his mother was (and is) a drug user and drinks a lot, his father has been a drunk for as long as I've known him, and they always fought constantly. His father openly favors his younger brother (his biological child- my husband is not biologically his) His mother admits that she purposefully concieved my husband because "she wanted someone to love her", and she has always dumped all her problems on his shoulders. As a result of this, my husband has become a rather heavy drinker. He drinks every day, and his personality changes dramatically when he has been drinking. When he's sober, he's a wonderful husband and father, but when he drinks, he's rude, thoughtless, and says cruel things to me. He has also been known to take off and be gone for hours and hours, which causes a fight between us. He has never laid a finger on me or on the kids, and I know that he would never hurt us physically, but he is hurting us with his drinking- I have done everything that I can think of to get him to stop. He admits that he has a problem, but he continues to drink. All this hurt has caused our sex life to deteriorate- we used to have sex several times a week- now, we barely ever even sleep in the same bed. I usually sleep on the couch, because I have no interest in having sex with him, and I know that, if I get into bed with him, he will try to initiate sex. Whenever I say no to his advances, he gets angry, calls me names, and threatens to have an affair. Whenever we try to talk about our relationship, it ends in a fight. Things are at crisis level now- this week, I have spent two nights at my parents' house with the kids, because we were fighting, and tonight he left, and hasn't come home yet. I know this is bad for our kids- we try to keep them out of it, but they know, of coarse. What makes it worse is that I'm a stay at home mom, and I know that there is no way I can afford to take care of the kids without him. I love my husband, and I don't want to separate, but I don't know what to do. We're both very young, with a lot of responsibilities, but I have always thought that we would be alright if we just stick together- please, I need help!