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10-08-2006, 08:14 PM
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hi this is my first time on this site. i am having some problems in my relationship and am looking for anything that may help. my wife is great in many ways, but there main issue's that are tearing us apart. I am in my mid 30's she late 20's and i seem to have my partying out of my system although I still like to have a good time my wife wants to hang out all hours of the night. I don't respond well to this have a habit of having a mouth that doesn't know when to stop. So she is mad at me for the things I say and I am upset because she finds it necessary to be out all night. Mind you I am always invited but usually I have had enough at an early hour or I am not having fun at all. I was a really fun person and enjoyed the bars but when I met my wife I finally found someone that made me ready to leave that all behind. Plus all our fights are drinking related and I am getting bitter about that lifestyle because what I think it is doing to my relationship. I typically am not a good drunk and don't find it conducive to a marriage so I am really slowing my drinking down. She doesn't have this problem although she does get more stubborn with me when drinking. We get along great all week and when the weekend comes we are usually fighting.
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10-09-2006, 04:33 AM
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Hello hoops! Welcome to the forum! It is the first time that i hear that a man in the mid 30's fed up of bars and clubs. You should be a model for all men out there, because when you decide to marry a person, you should be ready to stop all these. According to me, it's a kind of respect that you owe the person to whom you are married.
 I'm sorry that she doesn't appreciate the way you are now, hope that she will understand
__________________
I dance and dance and dance 
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10-09-2006, 04:42 AM
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Hi you 2. Welcome to the iwishisaidno hoops. When i read your story, i see myself in what you wrote. Not completely though, but it's nearly the same story. I'm not married yet and i stopped going to clubs and all places related to this. I liked to party a lot before i met him. It's not that i don't want to go there anymore; it's just that my boy friend doesn't like to go there and i find it kind of weird to go somewhere all alone with my friends. Nearly all my friends are single. Sometimes i feel a little bit angry because i feel like i don't do anything, but hey that's life ... We don't fight frequently, but do you think it will happen to me afterwards?
__________________
 I destroy everything around me
just like a tornado
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10-09-2006, 04:49 AM
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Hello hoops
Your story is a very sad one. I'll pray for you so that you solve your problem. Don't lose faith. Cheers
__________________
It's better to be good than evil, but one achieves goodness at a terrific cost Stephen KING
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10-09-2006, 07:29 AM
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I'm almost as "old" as her
And I still like partying, my boyfriend too. But we don't make it a habit, or next-to a ritual to go partying every week-end. I can understand you've got your time for partying. May I ask you since when are you married? And thus, since when did you stop all those partying? How long has these partying habits been going on? Maybe she's still young in her mind! You should explain to her that you can understand she wants to go and party, get all the stress out of her life, or see her friends. At the same time, reminding her that your marriage life COULD get some problems in there because of that! You could show her you are diminishing you drinking habits, so she could do the same about parties! You both try to make efforts together! That could work.
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10-09-2006, 09:45 AM
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Welcome to you hoops. What is the exact age gap between your wife and yourself?
Quote:
This must surely be very hard for you to go through such bad times during the week end. Have you tried to explain to her how you feel about going out all night? Maybe she didn't really get what you want and why you are doing this
__________________
If you want something said, ask a man...if you want something done, ask a woman - Margaret Thatcher 
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04-05-2007, 09:20 AM
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Why don’t you tell her how you’re feeling? About the fact that you left that life behind when you met her? That’s so romantic and sweet of you that I think she’ll be touched. If you’re no longer drinking or slowing down, maybe you could tell her to stop too. But again, you should know better than arguing with a drunk person.
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04-23-2007, 08:33 AM
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Hiiii!!! You must talk with your wife and tell her about your dislike!!! If you could change your habits for her then why can't she do the same for you,
 , doesn't she love you too!!! If so then she'll surely not disappoint you!!! Good luck man!!!
__________________
I AM COMING TO TAKE YOU!!!
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04-23-2007, 11:46 AM
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There should be compromises. Maybe you go in nightclubs only once a month or something like that. But why should she go to nightclubs when she’s with you? You could make romantic evenings with her on weekends so that she doesn’t feel the need to go to nightclubs? And I’m sure that would change the routines.
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04-24-2007, 05:45 AM
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You are mostly perfect dear. Hey your wife didn’t realize what she is doing; having a husband like you is the dream of most women. Talk to her please, make her realizes that a married life is not going out all week ends, communication is important. As Darling told you make romantic evenings with her on weekends.
Is that not a good idea.
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