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06-13-2006, 06:39 AM
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I want our marriage to end, because things aren’t just going well for us since quite sometime now. Its getting worse day by day and tolerating each other is becoming impossible and a terrible ordeal. The children have gone away to study in different towns and there is no sensible reason to continue the farce of happily married couple. But the problem comes from my husband who just doesn’t want to sign the papers. He is refusing to the point in signing those papers. He says am being stubborn and on top of that foolish. So now I am a fool! Well, I gave up my career to become the housewife he wanted when we got our first child. Since then I have been dividing myself between the house, the husband, the children and the family at large. Where is my life, my happiness and things I want to do? I am already reaching the wrong side of 45. I got married rather young. I have 2 grownup kids. My husband is retiring soon, now he wants me to be his nanny! While he will be away playing pool or at the club with friends I am supposed to be the happy little wife sitting at home and doing all the work? I’ve had enough of this. I want my own life! And I will fight for it. But how? This man who happens to be my husband, sadly, is just not setting me free.
 
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06-13-2006, 07:50 AM
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clara, nice name ! but calm down will you ! lets start from the beginning. U have quit ur career to become houswife, u decide this coz u find that is a good thing to devote time for ur kids and home etc.
Now do u honestly think that ur hubby to be blame for that ? think well ! moreover, u decided to look after the kids instead of ur career, now u have happy kids and they are following their studies in universitites which is a wonderful thing. U have been a "full time" mother for them. Is it not a positive thing ? think well ! Now u want freedom, to do wat ! if u r tired with the house chores. Ask ur loving hubby to go on holidays for sometimes. chill out together !  It a very good thing that ur hubby sign ur divorce papers. There is no point of getting divorce, u better shut up and try to calm down. Don't dramtized things ! 
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06-13-2006, 08:48 AM
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hey yasine, why you taking defense of the guy? he has got everythign he wanted dnt you see that? clara devoted her time, her life to the family, what she got in return? now that she wants a free life, he is refusing, how can he refuse? she gave up career for his sake to become the housewife he wanted! read well, will you?!
my ex also gave me a hard time while we were divorcing. i literally snatched my freedom from him. the moment he FINALLY signed the divorce papers i released my breath, which i never knew i was holding! it was that bad and that necessary for me to be free! guess you wont understand that Yasine!
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06-13-2006, 08:48 AM
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Yasine has a nice point. It's also possible that your husband loves you that's why he won't let go. Have you try telling him exactly how you feel? Maybe he hasn't even realized you feel deprived from your own life. Divorce is not the answer right away. You can ask your husband a time for yourself too, a time when you can go out with friends and do other stuff you like. Anyway, it's only you and him now that your kids are in college. But just make sure you won't neglect him entirely though. I think you've made a good life so far. That is very commendable. Don't destroy it now, but rather just let yourself grow or broaden your wings. Now is the time for that I guess. I hope your husband agrees to this compromise and your relationship will improve in the next few weeks.
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06-13-2006, 08:57 AM
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clara maybe he is not aware of how you feel. did you try talking to him?dont do like my wife did to me, i left the house because she rejected me, now i evven filed for divorce, but i feel like a jerk why she doesnt talk to me!
__________________
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06-27-2006, 05:54 AM
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Wife should know that when their husband ask them to be a housewife they should say no because one day will come and you'll be fedup staying at home.. We have only one life, people should realize this!! If your husband doesn't want to sign the paper, doesn't matter, you should tell him i'll find a job and after that i'll leave the house even if you don't want to sign the paper because you want to feel free and feel that you're making the most of life!! Don't be scared of him! It's time for you to leave!
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06-27-2006, 11:51 PM
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I think you should give it another chance. If it's a time for yourself you want, tell him. If you are tired of serving his every need, tell him he has to get it for himself sometimes. Talk with him about all this and compromise. If he agrees, then try it if it will work for you.
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06-28-2006, 01:06 PM
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[quote=Matrix]clara r u shouting like that
hey that right stop shouting and if you accept to devote your life to your family i dont see why u are asking where is ur happiness you are just dramatising thing try to calme down and think with a cool head
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