I'M coping right now, my control freak ex....destroyed my older 14 yr old son against me and brainwashed him so bad he was so confused and acted out and got into a lot of trouble. I kept showing him my love and the courts were going to put him into foster care because he refused to live with me and they did not want him to live with his out of control father but I chose to give him up and save him. It hurts its been 2 months my ex won't let him contact me or see me but thank GOD I have custody of my little son who is 9...and it is easier...but it hurts and I have my bad nights....like I said before people who are abusive to their wives will be to their kids too...he didn’t physically abuse them but he emotionally did which is worse....he is not doing well in school he looks pale and sad...but what to do he made his bed and now he must lie in it...they did everything to me, called the cops crying abuse (which is a lie) running away from school and home, you name it....its sad people cant be civil in a divorce....and I just pray he doesn’t try it on my younger one then I don’t know if I can face losing him too.

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"Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder"

ya it really difficult situation to cope up...some ll go into depression after tht...but in such situation u ned time...only time can heal all our wounds....friends and amily shud support such people a lot...........

Sorry i don't have kids too!! I'll ask my friend and give you an answer later...

it is extremly hard to deal with but if you know that your kids are going to better looked after by your partner then so be it.it will give you a chance to get your life together and then once you are settled then you can discuss with your partner a change of custody!

I am a mother, and due to oyears of abuse and control I walked away with nothing; not even my children!
He abused me and he is rewarded with the children?? Nice court system, huh?
Well, after 3 years I am dealing very well! Sounds weird I know, but i had to make my mind work totally different inorder to live day to day without them
I still cry, I get mad, I think of them every second of everday. They love me and I love them, and I feel that as long as they know that then I am able to go on living!
I guess there is no way to tell you how to deal with such a loss? I just had to make myself go forward without my babies, yes it hurts. But rather then they see their dad beat me I though it would be best that I leave the situation, at least I know they are safe, and happy!!

I have been through this and I am the mother! I just try not to think about it and live day to day knowing that one day they will be with me and I will try to make up for lost time. Until then I just try to do right by them and be there no matter what happens in my life!

Hold your head up, the first year or two is tough but your life will move forward and you will be ok! Promise!

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Avant

yes i completely agree with you that for some people their children are thier lives and that they need them to survive, they just think of life without them, i guess that such parents are the best parents ever, they loive their children so much that they'll go to any extent for thier happiness, i respect all those parents' feelings!!!!!

I don't know..I may have to find out sometime in the near future...I am trying to stay in my marriage for the kid's sake because my wife cannot be trusted...but I'm afraid that if I can't stand it anymore, even though she cheated, she'd be rewarded for her selfishness by getting custody of my beautiful boys whom I cannot stand to be with on a daily basis.

Life isn't fair though...seems the a$$holes get custody of the kids anymore.

I lost my 3 children at different times-but all due to drug abuse. It has been roughly 3 yrs give or take since we all lived together. My oldest is 15 so I was a fulltime mother for more than a few yrs. I get to see them. One is angry and has chose not to see me. One loves to see me and has forgiven me. and the youngest was 2 when he was taken-now 5, and we see each other every 2 wks. He undersatnds that hid fostermom is adopting him and that he'll never come home. It is almost impossible to go on living!! I over dosed purposely last year. Just couldn't go on w/o them. But what I learned is that they still need me even if we don't live together. If I would have suceeded in killing myself I would have damaged all my children to a degree that they may never have recovered. They still NEED a mother and these days I'm clean and am there for them as much as I can be.

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Halo71