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03-10-2006, 02:03 PM
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I am happy that I finally left him but I am finding guilt in my heart about my children. My older one was so emotionally upset and was out of control he is 14 and my younger one who is 9 took it a lot better. My older one is now living with his father. To make a long story short they were going to put him into foster care and I did not want that and for the love of my son I gave him up :(. But from time to time I look into my lil ones eyes and see the tears flowing and feel so bad that they have to go thru these hard times worse than we are ourselves. I sometimes wonder "Will they get over it". I don’t think children ever do, honestly I wish I could have avoided their pain. It breaks my heart that he had to be separated from his brother they are only 2 of them and I cant have any more children. I begged my older one to stop acting out and that this will happen but he never believed the courts would separate them. I have some peace in my life but I feel bad that they were separated and I am afraid sooner or later the older one will brainwash my lil one to come live with him and his father. Its 2 against one. I show him my undying love and we have fun but I notice when he speaks with his brother he changes from being happy to sad. I don’t know what to do I just know I left and abusive husband and could not take anymore. But the children hurt the most, people tend to forget that there are children involved and please try to be civil amongst yourselves in front of them!
I did not want my children to see me go through that emotional and physical abuse, I tried to show them that kind of behavior is unacceptable and it gets you thrown in jail. They do love their father but he wasn’t a father...all he cared about was making money. I did everything for them I was their mother and father he had no idea where their doctors office's are or the park down the road. Its sad, when I look back, children need both parents in their lives, life is too short to just let it pass you by, you must make time to share with your children because they grow so fast and you miss those years. Have any of you had it hard watching you kids going through divorce and how long did it take them to accept it (not get over it, I truly think they never do)? Thanks.
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"Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder" Last edited by zemrat : 03-10-2006 at 02:07 PM. 
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03-10-2006, 10:42 PM
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I just have seen this with some friends. Children really suffer in cases like this. I think it would really take some time to heal but just be there for your kids always. Make them feel that they are loved. It will help the healing process.
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* Piff bestseller *
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03-10-2006, 11:35 PM
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My parents divorced when i was 16. My mother only stayed with my father for years longer then she should have because she didnt want to hurt me and my brother, but it hurt me more to know that it was my fault that she stayed in an unhappy relantionship all cause of me. Hopefully has your son gets older he will realize why you divorced his father and he will let go of his misplaced anger.
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03-11-2006, 10:31 AM
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i agree with scott, you did the right think zemrat, your son will soon come to realize that. Dont feel guilty for trying to make you and your sons lives better, you did the right thing by leaving.
a girlfriend of mine got married to her husband, and he had a 5 year old girl (very sweet girl) from his first marriage and her mother keeps telling the girl horrible stories about the girls father about hwo he doesnt love her anymore and what a horrible dad he is, he and my friend actually got pregnant and are having thier own child and the daughter was told that they wernt going to love her the smae ect. She did start rebeling but the sat her down and explained everything to her, now she is a a good kid. However she is a girl and much younger then your son. I did just wanted to let you know a positive story
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Yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery today is a gift that why its called a present... 
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04-04-2006, 11:23 AM
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I guess puting up a courageous front is more important and being there for the kids is the most important thing for all kids.Till now I have not forgiven my father for not spending enough time as compared to my brother who was his favorite,these things are not clear when one is too young but it does become clear later and probably your elder son may realise it sooner and clear it for your younger son as well.
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04-04-2006, 03:14 PM
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thak you I keep prayign to God that this will blow over and he will come back to me....I am not the bad parent I tried to stay in the marriage for my childrens sake and it didnt work and in the end the children are the ones who suffer :(...the parents seem to move on to another partner way to fast although that wont be in my case. thank you all for your kind words....
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"Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder"
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04-27-2006, 03:44 PM
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think of your kids and love them.they crave for that pure love
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